In the adoption process, as in life in general, it is super easy to forget the truth that there is more going on than we can see, that there is a bigger, more mysterious reality outside of our small little viewpoint.
The side of me that forgets about the bigger reality is prone to thinking things like, "why hasn't a birthmom picked us yet? We're fun and nice! We sent cute pictures with our profile!" It's like wanting to be picked first for the team in gym class. So the humanity in me just wants to be picked and be done with this waiting business. There are days when this part of me wins and I feel anxious and impatient and sad - or any combination thereof.
But the other part of me, the wiser one, knows that this isn't about what I need in order to feel good about myself today. It's not about stroking my ego. I believe with all of my heart - and Douglas' adoption cemented this truth for me - that there is one (or two, or whatever) baby who is meant to be ours through this process. God knows who that birthmother is. God knows who our baby is and exactly when they will be born and when we will meet them and when and where the birthmother will be when she sees our profile and knows that we are The Ones. And, ultimately, if our profile is picked by someone who isn't the birthmother of our child, then the adoption will fail...I have no doubt. I believe that, no matter what, only the child who belongs with us will find their way into our lives as our precious child.
Things like the Hope Quilt help me to remember the truth that there is a plan for us and for our family and for our baby and for their birthmother. Things like the garage sale money help me to remember that it doesn't matter how long we have to wait, nor do any of the other details that I worry about in this process really matter. Because God's got this. We will wait as long as it takes until the baby who is meant to be a part of our family is born. And the day when they are meant to be born could be tomorrow or it could be in two years.
Who cares about the "probable wait time" for an adoption...none of that takes into consideration the fact that we're not just waiting on a baby - we're waiting on our baby. And only God knows when that little nugget is meant to enter this crazy world of ours. All I know is this - we'll be ready and waiting with arms wide open.
Who cares about the "probable wait time" for an adoption...none of that takes into consideration the fact that we're not just waiting on a baby - we're waiting on our baby. And only God knows when that little nugget is meant to enter this crazy world of ours. All I know is this - we'll be ready and waiting with arms wide open.
All three of us.
The End.
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