This video is of a speech given by a researcher named Brene Brown. It is about "the power of vulnerability." There is a lot of vulnerability to be had for me right now. The vulnerability of walking forward in the midst of the darkness of the unknown. The vulnerability of choosing to love Timon instead of hiding and protecting myself in case we lose him. This video served as yet another reminder for me that I need to keep choosing to walk forward and risk, because being vulnerable is part of being alive.
It doesn't feel like enough to just post this link, because I really, really love what Brown said. So I'm posting the link but also going to type below some of the things that she says in the video. Just go watch it. But, if you want to read some about it or if you ever want to come back to some of the highlights, you can read below.
Watch this video. Seriously. It is amazing. It's 20 minutes long, and I promise you will not regret spending the time. She is an expert and funny and witty and incredibly, incredibly right on.
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Brown spent years researching and studying people and connection. She found that there was only one difference between "the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging" (she calls these people The Whole-Hearted) and "the people who really struggle for it, folks who are always wondering if they're good enough. And that was that the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy." And so live lives feeling connected and loved and a part of something.
She found that the Whole-Hearted had:
"The courage to tell the story of who they are with their whole heart, the courage to be imperfect.
The compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly.
Connection as a result of authenticity...(they were) willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were. You have to do that to be in connection.
And they embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable was what made them beautiful. They talked about vulnerability as neither comfortable or excruciating - but as necessary...The willingness to do something where there are no guarantees.
Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness. But it is also the birth place of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love. We numb vulnerability. But you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't numb shame, fear, grief, disappointment without numbing...joy, gratitude, happiness.
But there is another way. This way is to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen - vulnerably seen.
To love with our whole hearts even though there's no guarantee.
To practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror when we're wondering, 'Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?' To be able to stop and instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say 'I'm so grateful because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive.'
And probably most important is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place that says 'I'm enough,' we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves."
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