I OWN You, Endometriosis!

When I found out last week that my Endometriosis is back, I was pretty devastated.  It meant that the doctors had been right when they predicted that it would keep coming back.  So I had to accept the fact that this was not a one-time thing - that this will likely be a part of my life forever.  And that is sad.

It is also strange to know that something is inside of me that is hurting my body.  It's harder to love my body and embrace it and feel strong when I know this.

Over the weekend, I sat with the sadness, and I also forced myself to start my yoga practice back up.  My own practice at home has suffered since Douglas was born.  I just haven't done a good job maintining that part of my life.  And that means that I've neglected something that makes me feel strong and beautiful and that releases much of my stress and sadness and fear.  This is not a good thing to neglect.

So, I'm using my Endometriosis news to motivate me.  And, let me tell you, just a few yoga sessions out on our back deck and I've already felt a shift.  Hope and strength and the will to kick this thing.  I am not going to sit by and let Endometriosis get worse and worse and make me feel weak and powerless.

I'm not saying that the changes that I'm making will cure me of Endo - or even necessarily help.  That's not the point.  I am going to do everything in my power to slow it down, to be the boss of it.  And whatever happens, happens.  I will most likely have surgery in the next few months regardless of what changes I make now.  But at least I won't be sitting by and just watching it do its thing.

I feel invigorated.  I'm going to do my best to eat things that help Endometriosis and avoid things that worsen it (this means becoming a vegan who eats fish - which will be a "special" new challenge for me).  Thankfully I've already cut out gluten, dairy and eggs, all of which cause inflammation in the body - and inflammation is detrimental in general, but especially for those with Endo.  I'm going to take supplements that I know will help balance out my body.  I'm going to exercise more and make every effort to get my regular Yoga practice going again and keep it consistent.  I'm going to do the poses that I know will strengthen my body physically and emotionally - the ones that make me feel like a rockstar.

And I'm going to see what happens.  But whatever happens, I'm going to participate in this.  I will not be made to feel powerless.

Micah walked up to me the other day after I'd made this shift emotionally and mentally, and I looked at him and said, "I'm going to kick Endometriosis' ass!"

Bring it.

I found this shirt yesterday while shopping with my mom and knew that it was meant to be mine - you know how I feel about theme shirts.  Game ON, Endo!