a beautiful journey home: Crazy Cash Part 2, God Makes Baby Quilts

In March of '09, Micah and I were in the phase of Adoption where you just wait for a call - your profile has been submitted for birthmoms to see, and you just wait until the right time comes, when your profile falls into the hands of the precious woman who is carrying the child who you are meant to raise and love forever and ever.

Lago de Atitlan, Guatemala

The road to this point in the process was a very painful one filled with over two years of fertility struggles and surgery and hopelessness and tears. After a couple of years of trying for kids, we found out through surgery that I had Stage IV Endometriosis, making it very difficult to conceive. The doctors wanted us to pursue aggressive fertility treatments - drugs that make you (at least) slightly crazy, possibly IVF down the road, and on and on. I tried one of the Slightly Crazy drugs for a couple months, and after that we jumped off of the treatment train. We needed a break.

Lago de Atitlan, Guatemala

Since the beginning of our marriage, we have talked about adoption as something we were very interested in and open to. For us, it was important that we not use it as a last ditch effort to start a family. In our spirits, we wanted to be choosing it, recognizing it as the beautiful miracle that it is, not treating it like it was a last resort. Though there were several other fertility options to pursue, we decided to change courses toward adoption, a decision that was completely affirmed on my birthday a couple months later when God made it super clear to me that we were meant to adopt.

Lago de Atitlan, Guatemala

So fast forward 3.5 months and we're back to March, 2009, waiting. It was March 12, and I was spending the afternoon at home. I remembered that I had seen a package on our front porch earlier that day so I went outside to get it, and what I found inside completely rocked my world.

The return address was for a woman named Debi who was my mom's college roommate and who I never receive mail from. Debi makes quilts for her friends' grandchildren. When I opened the box and could tell that under the tissue paper there was a quilt, I thought for a moment that this was some horrible mistake. Some (inadvertent) cruel joke. But it was definitely no mistake.

On top of the tissue paper was a card that said, "While minding my own business, God told me to make this quilt for your first baby. Since I do not often hear from God like this I did not start right away. He spoke again - this time I did what He told me to do. He said this is to be your 'hope quilt.'" She then mentioned her own fertility struggles years ago before starting a family. She ended the card by saying, "What I learned is that God is faithful even though I am not and that His grace is enough for me. I prayed for y'all with every square of this quilt. I believe that you will find hope now and a little one soon." Under the tissue paper was a soft, wonderful quilt for our little one.

I wept after reading half of the first sentence...and continued weeping tears of joy for about two hours. Somehow, in that first sentence, it felt like something pierced right through to my heart. I cried in complete awe at the love of God. Who is this God that loves us enough to have asked this woman hundreds of miles away from us to make a quilt for our baby? It also brought me back to the center of the Reality that He was so far ahead of us, that it was not all up to us. He knew who our baby was and when they would be born. I have never felt so loved by God. I mean, this is crazy stuff. God (through Debi) made our baby a quilt...wha?!?! And God made Micah and me a quilt in order to give us hope and remind us that He was still there and that He had a perfect, beautiful plan even if it looked like a big messy disaster from where we were standing.

Antigua, Guatemala

I am still so amazed by the faith that it must have taken for Debi to do this seemingly ridiculous thing. I mean, make a baby quilt for the couple who's struggling with fertility issues? C'mon! And someone who has gone through the pain of those struggles herself would know all too well how fragile a woman in my position would have been. That quilt could've sent me right over the edge!! But she was obedient, and we are both forever grateful for it. I will never forget those moments and hours of feeling so overwhelmed by the love of God...for us and for our baby. It's amazing! I remember telling Micah, "I mean, this is the stuff of the BIBLE! I didn't know God still did things like this! I can't believe that God told someone to make a quilt for us!"

Cancun, Mexico

We slept with the Hope Quilt on our bed that night. 22 hours after opening Debi's package, I got a call from the law firm saying we'd been chosen by a birth mom. Six months later, Douglas Thomas was born. The existence of that quilt is not only an amazing reminder to us of how much God loves us and how far He's willing to go to show it, but it is also an incredible part of Douglas' story that we will tell him again and again. It reminds us that, no matter how painful the road is at times, God has a beautiful and perfect plan for each of His precious children.