I have a vicious sinus cold, compliments of Douglas, compliments of Mom's Day Out germs. I took meds the last two nights to help me sleep because the night before that, I literally laid awake in bed all night silently reciting some version of the Niquil jingle - "The sneezy, stuffy head, fever, headache, so you can rest medicine" - and thinking "why, WHY don't I keep Niquil on HAND in this house!?" I'm not joking. This is what I did all night. I couldn't get the dang thing out of my head.
I don't take medicine a ton because I somehow believe what I've read in natural medicine books that taking meds actually slows your body's healing because it dries out your nasal passages etc, etc. And God knows, I don't want to be sick a day longer than I have to. The fact that I rarely take meds combined with the fact that my body seems to be the most sensitive-to-drugs body on the entire planet means that, when I do take them, I'm usually in for quite a ride.
This morning, I dreamed that I was staying with a friend of a friend just outside of a beautiful city in Europe. How I got there is a mystery because it started with a tragic love story where two lovers (neither of which were me, mind you) were forbidden to see each other by their families. They saw each other again anyway, and just as they were trying to decide to do, in the center of town where they were standing, a bus pulled up that was one of those cheesy "travel Europe" buses. They decided to jump on. I remember in my dream thinking, "how are they going to pay for this? How are they going to afford their lives in Europe?"
Well, apparently I hopped on the tour bus, too, because suddenly I was Europe.
I was staying at a friend of a friend's castle with my sister and brother-in-law. Yes - castle. So we're standing on top of this castle, on the roof as it were, and looking out over the beautiful landscape and city skyline. Then somehow I was swept off the roof by a flying carpet. And this was great fun until the wind picked up and took me way out away from the roof. I yelled back to my sister that I didn't have my wallet or money or the address of where we were staying...our castle, you know. I suddenly realized, while zooming around super high in the sky on a magic carpet, that I didn't have the means or the information to get me back to where we were staying or to the people I was with. Thanks to some helpful winds and some mad carpet-flying skills, I managed to land back on the castle roof safe and sound. Phew.
Imagine my surprise when I was awoken from my carpet-flying dream to a screaming baby in need of a bottle.
Wow. Helllllooooo cold medicine. Nice to see you.
I decided that maybe this dream was trying to tell me that I'm worrying too much about logistical things in life (like how the lovers will pay for their runaway lifestyles and how I'll find my way back to the castle...while I'm flying on a magic carpet!! Hello, missing the forest for the tree!). Maybe I'm supposed to let go more and just receive what is happening in my life. Sounds like a lesson I'm always in need of learning. I do believe that life is always trying to point us back to Truth, so I guess cold medicine would count, too. Just maybe.
I hope you have a stellar weekend. The magic-carpet-flying kind.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
I Hate You, Meat!
Well, it's official. Meat is my arch nemesis. I seriously want to punch it in the face.
My Naturopathic Doctor told me in May that when women come to him with any hormonal imbalances, his first step is typically to recommend that they go vegetarian for six months and see what happens. Since I was already not eating dairy or eggs (because my body doesn't like them - eggs make me want to punch a wall and dairy makes my digestive system lash out irrationally), this meant that I became a vegan - except that I can eat seafood. Vegan means no animal products - no dairy, eggs, meat, seafood.
So I jumped full-on into vegan life, and I totally noticed changes. Many signs of hormonal imbalances went away.
Wellll...then came the holidays. And I got a little too loosy goosy about it all. And by a little, I really mean a lot. It's much easier to go full-on vegetarian and just never have meat. When you give in a time or two, it just makes it that much easier to keep giving in and eventually end up eating meat way too often. The thing is, being a vegetarian can be a pain in the butt. It's not ridiculously hard, but it does require discipline (in my case, because I love me some bacon - always have. Maybe I need to find a YouTube video about how bacon is made...I think that would probably do the trick.) And it can require planning at times, which can be obnoxious. Going to a summer bbq as a vegan means you have to bring your own food - hello, grilled portabello mushrooms (they're actually very good)! I was getting the hang of it, for sure, but it was just so easy to choose meat out at restaurants over the holidays instead of yet another salad without meat.
Last month I couldn't tell a huge difference when my period came (don't worry, any men out there, this is not going to get graphic). I had only fallen off the wagon for about a week at that point, so my body wasn't freaking out yet.
I was curious to see what would happen this cycle since it had been a full month of meatiness. I really did it up. I didn't eat meat every day or anything, but many days I did. I'm kindof bad at moderation sometimes. I ate bacon, both pork and turkey versions (and when I eat bacon, I eat bacon. Like five pieces). Sausage. Turkey. More turkey. I think there was some ham in there - yes, yes there was. And even a few little party sausages for good measure - hey, they were in my Mom's amazing "Mexican Wastebasket Soup" that I love. OH, and these amazing tasting - wait for it - venison and jalapeno bites wrapped in bacon and smoked (my brother makes them and they're bomb!). Yeah. Meat wrapped in meat.
Suffice it to say, this little 6-week detour DIDN'T GO WELL! My period this cycle has been atrocious. The most painful cramps I've had in over a year. Horrible PMS mood swings. Low back cramps that I had completely forgotten even existed. I used to get them every month, but haven't in forever. I feel like a truck ran me over and then realized it forgot something and backed up. Slowly. This is not a good thing when you have two little kids, both of whom happen to also be in bad moods for their own very special reasons.
I have a bad memory, and I don't always do what I know is best for my body (although I do work hard to at least try), so maybe this post will serve as a reminder to me to STAY AWAY FROM MEAT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
The reason I'm telling you this is two-fold. One, I'm pissed and PMSing, so I wanted to yell and vent. Two, if any of you ladies out there feel like your hormones are a little whacky, you might want to try going vegetarian for a while to see what happens. If you're going to do it, you have to really do it - I mean, don't just eat rice cakes and cereal all day like I did my first few weeks as a vegan. That won't really give you much of anything (obviously). Eat tons of fruits and vegetables. Take a B-12 supplement and a multi-vitamin and research it enough to make sure you're covered on your nutrients. This site has helpful information on key nutrients for vegans or vegetarians to be aware of.
The other day, I was talking to the manager at one of the health food stores I frequent. I was telling her about how meat just really messes with me hormonally. She said that in her 30's, she started going into very early pre-menopause and was having lots of hot flashes. She started buying and eating only organic meat, dairy, and eggs. Her hot flashes went away completely within a couple months. Recently (years later), she got laid off from her previous job at a health food store, so she couldn't afford organic anymore. Within a month, her hot flashes were back. They're gone again now that she's back to eating organic. Her hormonal imbalances were directly related to the hormones in non-organic meat, dairy, and eggs.
Before the past few days, I was planning to do another experiment soon, once I balance back out with my vegan diet. I was going to eat meat 1-2 times/week for a month- ONLY ORGANIC - and see what happened...see if my hormonal balance stayed intact. Now that I'm a hot mess, I'm thinking I'll wait a little while before throwing another experiment into the mix. But if you're someone who doesn't want to try going vegetarian but does want to experiment with this, then take a few months and choose organic meat, dairy, and eggs. Those three categories are huge sources of hormones.
You hear stories of this or that organic company who is cutting corners and still marketing their product as organic even when technically it's not. This is the exception, not the rule. There are many companies out there that are totally legit. And I think it's silly to hear those stories and think, "well, then I'll just never buy organic." Conventional dairy and meat and eggs are huge sources of unhealthy hormones and antibiotics as well as all kinds of other nasty additives. I really believe we would all greatly benefit from choosing organic in these areas if we can afford it. The store manager's story is not an isolated one - there are countless others just like it.
All I'm sayin' is this. I HATE MEAT! I mean, I love meat, but I HATE it! My body, for now, hates it. And maybe it just hates conventional, hormone-laced meat. I guess I'll find that out another month. But if my body hates it THIS much, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not the only one...maybe some of you readers' little bodies hate it, too. Let me know if you think that's you. We can be vegan buddies - or vegetarian buddies. I'll send you my recipe for Vegan Energy Bars - sounds disgusting, tastes amazing. I will not, however, send you the recipe for bacon-wrapped venison wads. You're welcome.
My Naturopathic Doctor told me in May that when women come to him with any hormonal imbalances, his first step is typically to recommend that they go vegetarian for six months and see what happens. Since I was already not eating dairy or eggs (because my body doesn't like them - eggs make me want to punch a wall and dairy makes my digestive system lash out irrationally), this meant that I became a vegan - except that I can eat seafood. Vegan means no animal products - no dairy, eggs, meat, seafood.
So I jumped full-on into vegan life, and I totally noticed changes. Many signs of hormonal imbalances went away.
Wellll...then came the holidays. And I got a little too loosy goosy about it all. And by a little, I really mean a lot. It's much easier to go full-on vegetarian and just never have meat. When you give in a time or two, it just makes it that much easier to keep giving in and eventually end up eating meat way too often. The thing is, being a vegetarian can be a pain in the butt. It's not ridiculously hard, but it does require discipline (in my case, because I love me some bacon - always have. Maybe I need to find a YouTube video about how bacon is made...I think that would probably do the trick.) And it can require planning at times, which can be obnoxious. Going to a summer bbq as a vegan means you have to bring your own food - hello, grilled portabello mushrooms (they're actually very good)! I was getting the hang of it, for sure, but it was just so easy to choose meat out at restaurants over the holidays instead of yet another salad without meat.
Last month I couldn't tell a huge difference when my period came (don't worry, any men out there, this is not going to get graphic). I had only fallen off the wagon for about a week at that point, so my body wasn't freaking out yet.
I was curious to see what would happen this cycle since it had been a full month of meatiness. I really did it up. I didn't eat meat every day or anything, but many days I did. I'm kindof bad at moderation sometimes. I ate bacon, both pork and turkey versions (and when I eat bacon, I eat bacon. Like five pieces). Sausage. Turkey. More turkey. I think there was some ham in there - yes, yes there was. And even a few little party sausages for good measure - hey, they were in my Mom's amazing "Mexican Wastebasket Soup" that I love. OH, and these amazing tasting - wait for it - venison and jalapeno bites wrapped in bacon and smoked (my brother makes them and they're bomb!). Yeah. Meat wrapped in meat.
Suffice it to say, this little 6-week detour DIDN'T GO WELL! My period this cycle has been atrocious. The most painful cramps I've had in over a year. Horrible PMS mood swings. Low back cramps that I had completely forgotten even existed. I used to get them every month, but haven't in forever. I feel like a truck ran me over and then realized it forgot something and backed up. Slowly. This is not a good thing when you have two little kids, both of whom happen to also be in bad moods for their own very special reasons.
I have a bad memory, and I don't always do what I know is best for my body (although I do work hard to at least try), so maybe this post will serve as a reminder to me to STAY AWAY FROM MEAT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
The reason I'm telling you this is two-fold. One, I'm pissed and PMSing, so I wanted to yell and vent. Two, if any of you ladies out there feel like your hormones are a little whacky, you might want to try going vegetarian for a while to see what happens. If you're going to do it, you have to really do it - I mean, don't just eat rice cakes and cereal all day like I did my first few weeks as a vegan. That won't really give you much of anything (obviously). Eat tons of fruits and vegetables. Take a B-12 supplement and a multi-vitamin and research it enough to make sure you're covered on your nutrients. This site has helpful information on key nutrients for vegans or vegetarians to be aware of.
The other day, I was talking to the manager at one of the health food stores I frequent. I was telling her about how meat just really messes with me hormonally. She said that in her 30's, she started going into very early pre-menopause and was having lots of hot flashes. She started buying and eating only organic meat, dairy, and eggs. Her hot flashes went away completely within a couple months. Recently (years later), she got laid off from her previous job at a health food store, so she couldn't afford organic anymore. Within a month, her hot flashes were back. They're gone again now that she's back to eating organic. Her hormonal imbalances were directly related to the hormones in non-organic meat, dairy, and eggs.
Before the past few days, I was planning to do another experiment soon, once I balance back out with my vegan diet. I was going to eat meat 1-2 times/week for a month- ONLY ORGANIC - and see what happened...see if my hormonal balance stayed intact. Now that I'm a hot mess, I'm thinking I'll wait a little while before throwing another experiment into the mix. But if you're someone who doesn't want to try going vegetarian but does want to experiment with this, then take a few months and choose organic meat, dairy, and eggs. Those three categories are huge sources of hormones.
You hear stories of this or that organic company who is cutting corners and still marketing their product as organic even when technically it's not. This is the exception, not the rule. There are many companies out there that are totally legit. And I think it's silly to hear those stories and think, "well, then I'll just never buy organic." Conventional dairy and meat and eggs are huge sources of unhealthy hormones and antibiotics as well as all kinds of other nasty additives. I really believe we would all greatly benefit from choosing organic in these areas if we can afford it. The store manager's story is not an isolated one - there are countless others just like it.
All I'm sayin' is this. I HATE MEAT! I mean, I love meat, but I HATE it! My body, for now, hates it. And maybe it just hates conventional, hormone-laced meat. I guess I'll find that out another month. But if my body hates it THIS much, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not the only one...maybe some of you readers' little bodies hate it, too. Let me know if you think that's you. We can be vegan buddies - or vegetarian buddies. I'll send you my recipe for Vegan Energy Bars - sounds disgusting, tastes amazing. I will not, however, send you the recipe for bacon-wrapped venison wads. You're welcome.
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Down Side
As my favorite blogger, Glennon said to me in our one email exchange, "my kids whooped my ass today." That pretty much sums up my day. There's really just no other way to put it.
One moment Douglas was using his almond butter-caked fork from breakfast to paint a beautiful picture all over the newly cleaned kitchen window. The one that spent months looking like we had sprayed fake snow on it to be festive when really it was just that dirty...until I finally made the time (2 minutes) to clean it a few days ago. I had a hard time finding the artsy beauty in Douglas' almond butter drawing. In those moments, I always think to myself, "See? Why do I even try to clean?!" Later, Douglas decided to spend his naptime screaming "Mommy hold you" from his bed - over and over and over again for no apparent reason. (He really means "mommy hold me" btw - we're still working on object pronouns.)
There were actually four days in there, over Christmas, when he went down for naps like I wanted him to - without endless bouncing up and down and shhhhing and rocking and every manner of trickery to get him down. I would take him upstairs to his room at my parents' house, cuddle and bounce him for about a minute, and lay him down. And he slept. His smiley, laughing side has been coming out more and more, so for those five days, I thought, "Wow!! This is it! He was just going through a rough spell, but he's going to be this pleasant, easy, cheesy grinning, cheerful little version of himself now! Easy peasy!"
Five days. Then the drool came. And the crying.
For the record, I do think that he will be a cheerful, fun little guy - when he's not teething.
On our way home from Texas after Christmas, we made it 10 minutes into our 6-hour drive before Timon started crying. Crying turned into wailing before we could pull the car off on the side of an exit ramp. I spent ten minutes bouncing him and shhing him and trying every other trick in my book to get him to calm down. We were just past a gas station and directly in front of a tiny storage unit place where I'm sure the worker was getting a real kick out of the show. And by the way, when I say bouncing, I really mean squatting repeatedly. It's this trick I learned in Baby Yoga. They're called Divine Drops and they basically involve holding the baby close and secure at your chest, and then doing squats. The harder the baby is crying, the faster you do them. They typically calm an unhappy baby almost instantly. We did it a ton with Douglas. I've done it with various babies, and it works!
Well, not this day. There I was, on the side of the road, manically bouncing up and down in and out of squats with a screaming baby in my arms. This scream was unlike any I'd ever heard him use before. It was like he was either in excruciating pain or terrified. Or probably both. It finally stopped after we gave him a couple homeopathic remedies, teething gel, and Micah stuck his finger in his mouth for chewing. Then he passed out.
Micah looked at me a few minutes later and said, "what if this is what teething is like for him?!" Our eyes both widened in terror and dismay. Say it isn't so.
With teething apparently comes naps no longer than 30 minutes for Timon. And lots of crying and yelling. I was a hot mess by the time Micah came home. I'm slowly recovering. I almost went to bed at 7:30 but instead decided to try a candlelit bath and some creative outlet therapy. So I'm sitting in bed with all the lights out, candles glowing, and spa music playing. And the small Christmas tree in our room is lit - because we both love it so much we decided to keep it in here for a while longer even though I was actually ready this year to take down the rest of the decorations. (This, by the way, I attribute to the advent calendar. It really worked! I sucked the marrow out of Christmas so much that, for perhaps the first time ever, I was willing to let it go when December 26 came around. Even a little bit excited I dare say. Much more enjoyable than feeling full-on depressed.)
Hopefully tonight I won't dream of screaming babies or whining toddlers. Crossing my fingers I'll dream of nothing but fluffy white clouds and warm sunshine and, I don't know, frolicking in a meadow or something.
One moment Douglas was using his almond butter-caked fork from breakfast to paint a beautiful picture all over the newly cleaned kitchen window. The one that spent months looking like we had sprayed fake snow on it to be festive when really it was just that dirty...until I finally made the time (2 minutes) to clean it a few days ago. I had a hard time finding the artsy beauty in Douglas' almond butter drawing. In those moments, I always think to myself, "See? Why do I even try to clean?!" Later, Douglas decided to spend his naptime screaming "Mommy hold you" from his bed - over and over and over again for no apparent reason. (He really means "mommy hold me" btw - we're still working on object pronouns.)
 |
| He so looks like he's up to something |
There were actually four days in there, over Christmas, when he went down for naps like I wanted him to - without endless bouncing up and down and shhhhing and rocking and every manner of trickery to get him down. I would take him upstairs to his room at my parents' house, cuddle and bounce him for about a minute, and lay him down. And he slept. His smiley, laughing side has been coming out more and more, so for those five days, I thought, "Wow!! This is it! He was just going through a rough spell, but he's going to be this pleasant, easy, cheesy grinning, cheerful little version of himself now! Easy peasy!"
Five days. Then the drool came. And the crying.
For the record, I do think that he will be a cheerful, fun little guy - when he's not teething.
On our way home from Texas after Christmas, we made it 10 minutes into our 6-hour drive before Timon started crying. Crying turned into wailing before we could pull the car off on the side of an exit ramp. I spent ten minutes bouncing him and shhing him and trying every other trick in my book to get him to calm down. We were just past a gas station and directly in front of a tiny storage unit place where I'm sure the worker was getting a real kick out of the show. And by the way, when I say bouncing, I really mean squatting repeatedly. It's this trick I learned in Baby Yoga. They're called Divine Drops and they basically involve holding the baby close and secure at your chest, and then doing squats. The harder the baby is crying, the faster you do them. They typically calm an unhappy baby almost instantly. We did it a ton with Douglas. I've done it with various babies, and it works!
Well, not this day. There I was, on the side of the road, manically bouncing up and down in and out of squats with a screaming baby in my arms. This scream was unlike any I'd ever heard him use before. It was like he was either in excruciating pain or terrified. Or probably both. It finally stopped after we gave him a couple homeopathic remedies, teething gel, and Micah stuck his finger in his mouth for chewing. Then he passed out.
Micah looked at me a few minutes later and said, "what if this is what teething is like for him?!" Our eyes both widened in terror and dismay. Say it isn't so.
With teething apparently comes naps no longer than 30 minutes for Timon. And lots of crying and yelling. I was a hot mess by the time Micah came home. I'm slowly recovering. I almost went to bed at 7:30 but instead decided to try a candlelit bath and some creative outlet therapy. So I'm sitting in bed with all the lights out, candles glowing, and spa music playing. And the small Christmas tree in our room is lit - because we both love it so much we decided to keep it in here for a while longer even though I was actually ready this year to take down the rest of the decorations. (This, by the way, I attribute to the advent calendar. It really worked! I sucked the marrow out of Christmas so much that, for perhaps the first time ever, I was willing to let it go when December 26 came around. Even a little bit excited I dare say. Much more enjoyable than feeling full-on depressed.)
Hopefully tonight I won't dream of screaming babies or whining toddlers. Crossing my fingers I'll dream of nothing but fluffy white clouds and warm sunshine and, I don't know, frolicking in a meadow or something.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Holiday Recap
Happy New Year!!!
The other day I wrote a post called "The Down Side" about having a rough day in Mom-land, followed by one called "The Up Side" where I gain a little perspective after venting for a half hour. I decided that I should hold off on posting The Down Side for a few days, though...felt like my first post of the new year should be more positive. Sooo, I'll start with a little Christmas recap - try to put a little skip in my step this first week of 2012. (Really, though, I'm so tired I feel like my shoes are filled with lead so putting a skip in my step is more of an idea than it is any sort of reality today.)
It was so incredibly fun watching Douglas as he learned about Christmas. One day, he sat at the kitchen table and sang "Happ Birfday Jesuus! Happ Birfday Shiny Reindeer!!" It's confusing sometimes - all the stories tend to run together. He still walks around saying "little drummer boyee!?" whenever he wants to play his drums - he IS the little drummer boy. Few things are more precious than him walking around singing "parum pum pum! Parum pum pum!" over and over.
We had a lovely Christmas with most of my family in Texas. My sister and her sweet family weren't there, and we really missed them. The whole family stood around the computer and skyped with them in CA on Christmas night. This picture cracks me up because there is a baby under that Santa hat - my baby!!...the picture that followed this one was of Aunt Heather saving him.
Douglas loves his cousin Elizabeth (Buh-beth) and she loves Douglas (Dou-las).
There were so many beautiful, fun, festive moments.
There was a breakfast-for-dinner picnic by the tree followed by a Brother Snuggle which is a new fan favorite.
Although in this pic Timon looks rather unimpressed...usually he's giggling when this happens.
And a festive holiday light/North Pole display in Grapevine, TX complete with a set-to-music light display that was super impressive. The night ended with a dance party in the gazebo in town square with a million lights flashing around us and Christmas classics blaring over the speakers. No doubt some little kid just started dancing up there and it prompted a full-blown Christmas rave with lots of tiny little dancing munchkins and their families. SO FUN.
And holiday decorations at The Gaylord hotel - Douglas just stood there with his finger pointed and moved his hand all around, mouth wide open, because there were endless things he wanted to point at in awe and wonder.
My mom did an amazing job decorating the house, as always. That is one of many, many ways that she has always made Christmas such a special time. I am grateful for her countless hours of work to get the house to look so incredible.
We had a Christmas Eve fireside reading of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.
Douglas decided that night that he was afraid of Santa. I don't blame him. I mean, when you're that little and just learning all of this stuff, it would be a little freaky to hear before bedtime that some strange man is going to come down your chimney into your house while you're sleeping! I explained to him that Santa is happy and jolly and kind. He looked at me and said, "jolly happy soul?" Yes. That's right. Just like Frosty, Santa is a jolly, happy soul. He must have gotten over his fear, because a few days later, he frantically said multiple times "Santa, hold you!" when he was afraid of the duct-cleaning men in our house. Yesterday he couldn't get the lid to his smoothie to open, so he said "Santa help you." I think the fact that Santa brought him this sweet tent and tunnel might have something to do with him getting over his fear!
It was so fun to watch Douglas and Timon being loved and treasured by my family - they always are, but somehow the backdrop of twinkly lights and Bring Crosby makes it all the more beautiful.
The other day I wrote a post called "The Down Side" about having a rough day in Mom-land, followed by one called "The Up Side" where I gain a little perspective after venting for a half hour. I decided that I should hold off on posting The Down Side for a few days, though...felt like my first post of the new year should be more positive. Sooo, I'll start with a little Christmas recap - try to put a little skip in my step this first week of 2012. (Really, though, I'm so tired I feel like my shoes are filled with lead so putting a skip in my step is more of an idea than it is any sort of reality today.)
It was so incredibly fun watching Douglas as he learned about Christmas. One day, he sat at the kitchen table and sang "Happ Birfday Jesuus! Happ Birfday Shiny Reindeer!!" It's confusing sometimes - all the stories tend to run together. He still walks around saying "little drummer boyee!?" whenever he wants to play his drums - he IS the little drummer boy. Few things are more precious than him walking around singing "parum pum pum! Parum pum pum!" over and over.
We had a lovely Christmas with most of my family in Texas. My sister and her sweet family weren't there, and we really missed them. The whole family stood around the computer and skyped with them in CA on Christmas night. This picture cracks me up because there is a baby under that Santa hat - my baby!!...the picture that followed this one was of Aunt Heather saving him.
Douglas loves his cousin Elizabeth (Buh-beth) and she loves Douglas (Dou-las).
There were so many beautiful, fun, festive moments.
There was a breakfast-for-dinner picnic by the tree followed by a Brother Snuggle which is a new fan favorite.
Although in this pic Timon looks rather unimpressed...usually he's giggling when this happens.
And a festive holiday light/North Pole display in Grapevine, TX complete with a set-to-music light display that was super impressive. The night ended with a dance party in the gazebo in town square with a million lights flashing around us and Christmas classics blaring over the speakers. No doubt some little kid just started dancing up there and it prompted a full-blown Christmas rave with lots of tiny little dancing munchkins and their families. SO FUN.
 |
| Check out Elizabeth in the background - cracks me up |
And holiday decorations at The Gaylord hotel - Douglas just stood there with his finger pointed and moved his hand all around, mouth wide open, because there were endless things he wanted to point at in awe and wonder.
My mom did an amazing job decorating the house, as always. That is one of many, many ways that she has always made Christmas such a special time. I am grateful for her countless hours of work to get the house to look so incredible.
We had a Christmas Eve fireside reading of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.
Douglas decided that night that he was afraid of Santa. I don't blame him. I mean, when you're that little and just learning all of this stuff, it would be a little freaky to hear before bedtime that some strange man is going to come down your chimney into your house while you're sleeping! I explained to him that Santa is happy and jolly and kind. He looked at me and said, "jolly happy soul?" Yes. That's right. Just like Frosty, Santa is a jolly, happy soul. He must have gotten over his fear, because a few days later, he frantically said multiple times "Santa, hold you!" when he was afraid of the duct-cleaning men in our house. Yesterday he couldn't get the lid to his smoothie to open, so he said "Santa help you." I think the fact that Santa brought him this sweet tent and tunnel might have something to do with him getting over his fear!
It was so fun to watch Douglas and Timon being loved and treasured by my family - they always are, but somehow the backdrop of twinkly lights and Bring Crosby makes it all the more beautiful.
 |
| Elizabeth trying on the hat that I made for her, complete with interchangeable flowers - HOLLAH! And, yes, I do know that that flower is half the size of her head, but, people, believe me, this Texas Bow-head can handle it - this isn't even big for her! |
Douglas absolutely loves being around family. There were several times when I looked at him and saw his face filled with sheer joy. The mixture of family and music and dancing and special activities and talk of Christmas was enough to make him nearly burst with happiness...for hours at a time. It was seriously magical to watch.
I hope your Christmas was filled with a little magic of your own - or buckets full. Happy, happy New Year. Here's to new beginnings - ones that are filled with hope.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Let there be Light
The Advent Calendar is a success so far! Granted, Douglas is more interested in taking things out of the pockets and putting them back in than he is in what the card actually says, but - whatevs. He'll get it more next year. The nice thing about the fact that he's so young when we're starting this tradition is that it gives me a year to work out some of the kinks - to see how I like it before he really gets it and is devastated when I forget it for a day or when I change plans on him.
It's sometimes hard for me to commit to what we're doing that day, so I have to choose things that I really know we'll be able to swing. The point of this is not to stress myself out MORE during the holidays. The point is to enjoy it, to make an effort to seize the day and soak up all the holiday goodness that we can. And, I must say, this first year has been a raging success in our household.
I think one of the tricks is to not overdo it with the intense activities. Throw lots of super fun, easy ones in there like Bubble Baths and reading books by the fire - things that you would do sometimes anyway - and maybe spice them up by throwing in some Christmas music or reindeer antlers or hot cocoa or a fire. Don't wear yourself out trying to do a brand new, novel thing every day!
We've decorated Christmas trees.
There have been bubble baths and Angel Tree gifts and carpet picnics with popcorn and The Santa Clause movie and cookie-making parties with cousins and breakfast for dinner while listening to Christmas music.
My friend, Lauren, had a "Frosty Friday" party where the kids made Snowman crafts and then sat on a big blanket and ate snacks while watching Frosty...pretty sure life doesn't really get better than that. Dougie and I dressed up for the party. I may or may not have worn cheesy Christmas socks pulled up to my knees...Dougie (after seeing what a gem of an outfit I was wearing) may or may not have asked to borrow another pair of said cheesy socks to pull up to his knees - over his khaki cargo pants. He topped it all off with Micah's Harley Davidson beanie. It was a little hard to take ourselves seriously.
We had a picnic dinner by the Christmas tree. (Where Timon decided he should try sitting up...just for fun).
It's fun watching Douglas learn about the various Christmas stories now that he's old enough to semi-understand. We have a sing-along Christmas dvd that has The Little Drummer Boy on it. We listen and I tell him about Jesus being born and how the little boy wanted to give him a gift to tell him that he loved him, but he didn't have any money to get him anything. But he had his drum. So he asked if he could play him a song. Yesterday while we watched it, Douglas whispered, "Douglas drum" and ran to get his little drum. He brought it back and started playing on it. He had his eyes closed (they were all squinty because apparently it's tricky to close your eyes and concentrate at the same time) and the most hilarious expression on his face as he played his drum. I asked him if he was playing a song for Jesus and he said yes. I then looked at the video and realized that the drummer boy had his eyes closed when he was playing for Jesus - so apparently Dougie decided that's how songs for Jesus are meant to be played.
Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones - and to those who have no loved ones to call their own. May we all encounter the Light that conquers all darkness - and may that Light fill us up from the tops of our heads to the tips of our toes.
As I wrote the above paragraph, these words came into my mind. So I guess they're for you.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
- Romans 15:13
It's sometimes hard for me to commit to what we're doing that day, so I have to choose things that I really know we'll be able to swing. The point of this is not to stress myself out MORE during the holidays. The point is to enjoy it, to make an effort to seize the day and soak up all the holiday goodness that we can. And, I must say, this first year has been a raging success in our household.
I think one of the tricks is to not overdo it with the intense activities. Throw lots of super fun, easy ones in there like Bubble Baths and reading books by the fire - things that you would do sometimes anyway - and maybe spice them up by throwing in some Christmas music or reindeer antlers or hot cocoa or a fire. Don't wear yourself out trying to do a brand new, novel thing every day!
We've decorated Christmas trees.
There have been bubble baths and Angel Tree gifts and carpet picnics with popcorn and The Santa Clause movie and cookie-making parties with cousins and breakfast for dinner while listening to Christmas music.
My friend, Lauren, had a "Frosty Friday" party where the kids made Snowman crafts and then sat on a big blanket and ate snacks while watching Frosty...pretty sure life doesn't really get better than that. Dougie and I dressed up for the party. I may or may not have worn cheesy Christmas socks pulled up to my knees...Dougie (after seeing what a gem of an outfit I was wearing) may or may not have asked to borrow another pair of said cheesy socks to pull up to his knees - over his khaki cargo pants. He topped it all off with Micah's Harley Davidson beanie. It was a little hard to take ourselves seriously.
We had a picnic dinner by the Christmas tree. (Where Timon decided he should try sitting up...just for fun).
 |
| I left the random lady in here because I think it's funny knowing that just as she's randomly front and center in our cute family photo, we are no doubt messing up the background of hers that was taken just moments before. |
It's fun watching Douglas learn about the various Christmas stories now that he's old enough to semi-understand. We have a sing-along Christmas dvd that has The Little Drummer Boy on it. We listen and I tell him about Jesus being born and how the little boy wanted to give him a gift to tell him that he loved him, but he didn't have any money to get him anything. But he had his drum. So he asked if he could play him a song. Yesterday while we watched it, Douglas whispered, "Douglas drum" and ran to get his little drum. He brought it back and started playing on it. He had his eyes closed (they were all squinty because apparently it's tricky to close your eyes and concentrate at the same time) and the most hilarious expression on his face as he played his drum. I asked him if he was playing a song for Jesus and he said yes. I then looked at the video and realized that the drummer boy had his eyes closed when he was playing for Jesus - so apparently Dougie decided that's how songs for Jesus are meant to be played.
Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones - and to those who have no loved ones to call their own. May we all encounter the Light that conquers all darkness - and may that Light fill us up from the tops of our heads to the tips of our toes.
As I wrote the above paragraph, these words came into my mind. So I guess they're for you.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
- Romans 15:13
Monday, December 5, 2011
Holiday Musings, Part 2 - Motley Crew of Cards
The main blog that I read, which I've mentioned before, is Momastery. A month or so ago, she wrote this post about the holidays. She encouraged people who have more to share with those who have less this year. And those who have less to be brave enough to ask for help. She quoted a bible verse that talks about people sharing everything that they have. The post really hit me...well, the post and reading the comments where people posted their needs or their desire to help someone. Glennon, the blogger, paired up needs with gifts, and amazing things happened.
I cried when I saw what was going on. I knew that I wanted to be a part of it, to help somehow, but I didn't know how - I decided to wait and listen. I mentioned it to Micah and he was on board. Below is the e-mail that I sent to Glennon about what went down:
And the thing is - these areas where we hold on so tightly? They're killing us a little bit at a time. Keeping us from real life and joy and freedom.
I am still very much in the early stages of of attempting (and feeling compelled) to stop hoarding. One look at my closet would let you know that. So don't get me wrong - I love me some presents. I love me some clothes and all kinds of other crap. I'm a work in progress.
I'm trying to figure out what all of this means for me. Micah and I are trying to figure out what all of this means for our family. And especially for our family around Christmastime. How will we incorporate these principles that we care about into our lives and our traditions? How should we do gifts? Do we make them all? Knit them out of wool from a lamb we keep in our back yard?...(j/k - for now at least!). Do we commit to giving no more than three gifts to our kids - who we give NONE to now because they're too young to care?
This is what I know. As a culture, we are obsessed with stuff and it is super addicting. I never, ever would have told you that I was that attached to my silly gift cards - until I was asked to give them away. I would venture to say that the vast majority of us have way more things than we know how to love - WAY MORE. Having all of this stuff causes mental and emotional stress, even if we don't think it does, even if we don't know it's there. I sometimes literally feel like there is a physical weight from it all, and it makes me feel claustrophobic.
So this is what I'm going to do about it. I'm going to keep asking the questions and keep talking with Micah about it until we find a way that works for our family. And it will probably be different than the way that works for you or your family. We all have different needs, different things that work. I'm going to keep asking myself all the time, "Do I know how to love this?" And if I don't, I will let it go. I will ask the same about Douglas and Timon before buying them more and more stuff. I'm going to remind myself that there are so very many people out there who are in great need today. Holding on to this stuff I don't know how to love is directly robbing someone else of the opportunity to love it very, very much.
I think we could all stand to lighten our load a little bit (or a LOT) this holiday season. Pass things on to someone else. Clear space in our homes and our lives and our minds. More space means more love and blessings and light can enter in. And I say Joy to the World to THAT.
Douglas admiring his own personal Christmas tree in his bedroom - a tradition that I LOVE that my mom started when we were kids.
I cried when I saw what was going on. I knew that I wanted to be a part of it, to help somehow, but I didn't know how - I decided to wait and listen. I mentioned it to Micah and he was on board. Below is the e-mail that I sent to Glennon about what went down:
Glennon.
I tried to post a comment (I was super embarrassed to post it, but thought it was important to be vulnerable so everyone can see the MULTIPLE facets of this love fest of blessings goin' on here.) But, alas, I'm long winded, so it was too long to post. It wouldn't accept all my characters. Go figure.
I said in an earlier comment that I'd wait to see how I was supposed to be involved in this. I asked and listened. God told me $300 ...I knew it was him because he's so random like that. I told my husband today and he was a little shocked and said we don't have that extra $ right now and that's kindof a lot. But that we would make it work if I really felt it was what God was asking. I said we'll talk about it later. We just adopted our second son and as with most adoptions there's not much $ left over afterward. So things are tight. Not scary tight at all, but just tighter than we usually are in the "extra" category.
I hung up and was discouraged. I looked in our envelopes (we do the cash system and have envelopes of cash for the categories) to see if I could scrounge up $300 and fell way short...I had almost expected there to be exactly $300 extra in there bc that's how I know God works sometimes. Then I heard God telling me to look at my gift cards. NO. NOT MY GIFT CARDS. I have a wallet full of store credits and gift cards. I rarely, if ever, use them. I love them. They are my rainy day fund. Husband doesn't know or care if or when I use them, so it's all just treat money! But I hoard them. I never use them. Some have been there for years. In part bc I forget them. But mostly I think it's for the same reason anyone hoards - because we're afraid God won't provide, so we're trying to protect ourselves.
I got out the cards and reluctantly began to call to get the amounts on all of them. Then I added them up. Just over $300. Hmm. I then sat there (this is so embarrassing) and tried to fenagle my way into keeping some of them. "Gap? C'mon! I want to keep it so I can get my littles those precious long sleeve waffle tees to wear under cute t-shirts in the winter! C'MON!!!" Nope. I seriously tried to find some way to make it work to where I could keep some. I felt the Spirit gently smiling at me and saying, "Let go. Let them go." I thought of the fact that I don't need these cards. Other people NEED. THESE. CARDS. And they've been sitting in my wallet collecting dust when someone else could have been enjoying the fruit of them all this time.
So, if you'll accept (I kindof know you will because you're quirky and open to quirky things like that I'm guessing) a total MOTLEY CREW of cards, I've got 'em. Gap. Target. Babies R Us. Janie and Jack. Sams. And the amounts are RANDOM because lots of them are store credit. $66.69. $19.26. Random crap, I'm telling you. Want 'em? If you say no, I'll think, "hmm...MAYBE, God, you just wanted me to go through the exercise, but you don't really want me to give them away?..." Just kidding. No part of me thinks this was just an exercise. Or that you'll say no to funky contributions. But, just know, the people receiving these cards may think it's weird. I mean, Janie and Jack for $28.12?
I just wanted you to know how MULTI MULTI (x a million) faceted the amazing blessings of this project are, Glennon. Here I am in Kansas and God's using this to a) speak directly to me which I totally love when he does that b) grow my faith by showing me that YES I actually heard him when he said $300 and c) to heal another wounded part of me where I somehow believe the lie that he won't provide for us and so I keep a rainy day fund of gift cards just in CASE he doesn't show up when I need him to. It feels GOOD to let go. My wallet is so light and fluffy after The Big Card Dump.
Thank you. Truly. I know you know it's a blessing to give - even bigger than to receive. But I wanted you to know HOW much of a blessing this particular time of giving was for me.
So please send me your address so I can send this hilarious envelope of cards.
GingerI posted this to illustrate the point that we all have areas of our lives where we are holding on too tightly. Hoarding. Areas that we are protecting. And if we will let our guards down a little bit, God might just look us square in the face and lovingly say, "It's time. This isn't really yours in the first place. Let it go. Make room." My intense attachment to my gift card stash came as a complete surprise to me. I knew I hoarded them and didn't use them, but I never knew how hard it would be for me to give them away. I mean, I'm telling you - I seriously sat there for 30 minutes trying to find a combination of the cards that added up to $300 and somehow left me with a gift card or two to spend. After a while, I actually started laughing at the hilarity of what I was doing. Sick, really.
And the thing is - these areas where we hold on so tightly? They're killing us a little bit at a time. Keeping us from real life and joy and freedom.
I am still very much in the early stages of of attempting (and feeling compelled) to stop hoarding. One look at my closet would let you know that. So don't get me wrong - I love me some presents. I love me some clothes and all kinds of other crap. I'm a work in progress.
I'm trying to figure out what all of this means for me. Micah and I are trying to figure out what all of this means for our family. And especially for our family around Christmastime. How will we incorporate these principles that we care about into our lives and our traditions? How should we do gifts? Do we make them all? Knit them out of wool from a lamb we keep in our back yard?...(j/k - for now at least!). Do we commit to giving no more than three gifts to our kids - who we give NONE to now because they're too young to care?
This is what I know. As a culture, we are obsessed with stuff and it is super addicting. I never, ever would have told you that I was that attached to my silly gift cards - until I was asked to give them away. I would venture to say that the vast majority of us have way more things than we know how to love - WAY MORE. Having all of this stuff causes mental and emotional stress, even if we don't think it does, even if we don't know it's there. I sometimes literally feel like there is a physical weight from it all, and it makes me feel claustrophobic.
So this is what I'm going to do about it. I'm going to keep asking the questions and keep talking with Micah about it until we find a way that works for our family. And it will probably be different than the way that works for you or your family. We all have different needs, different things that work. I'm going to keep asking myself all the time, "Do I know how to love this?" And if I don't, I will let it go. I will ask the same about Douglas and Timon before buying them more and more stuff. I'm going to remind myself that there are so very many people out there who are in great need today. Holding on to this stuff I don't know how to love is directly robbing someone else of the opportunity to love it very, very much.
I think we could all stand to lighten our load a little bit (or a LOT) this holiday season. Pass things on to someone else. Clear space in our homes and our lives and our minds. More space means more love and blessings and light can enter in. And I say Joy to the World to THAT.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Holiday Musings, Part 1
Rachel Remen, in her book My Grandfather's Blessings, tells a story about a little boy who LOVED Hot Wheels. She loved this little boy, and his parents didn't have much money. So Remen, with the help of her staff at the medical clinic she ran, gave him every single Hot Wheel car there was. And he stopped playing with them. She asked him why he wasn't playing with them anymore. "He looked away and in a quivery voice he said, 'I don't know how to love this many cars, Rachel."
I loved this story the moment I read it. I've seen this happen with my nephews and with Douglas. When they get too much of something, they stop loving it.
I now ask myself very frequently if I know how to love something. I will be standing in my closet and a shirt will catch my eye. "Do I know how to love this shirt?" So often, the answer is no. It's an ok shirt. There's nothing wrong with it. If you asked me for an explanation of WHY this shirt deserved to get kicked to the curb, I wouldn't be able to give you one. I used to think something had to not fit me or be really out of style or super un-flattering to warrant the Goodwill pile. Now I know that even if it's cute and fits, I may just not know how to love it.
I have always been a little bit of a hoarder. Not a scary hoarder...apparently there's a show on now called "Hoarders" and it sounds CREEPY. That's not what I mean by hoarding here. But I have a hard time giving things away. I worry that I'll wish I had x sweater two months after dropping it off at Goodwill. I love having clothes that I feel cute in, and I tend to like variety. This can get very, very out of hand. When Micah and I got married, he counted my jeans (cute, right?!) and I had something like 12 or 13 pair.
A few years ago, I learned about one of the principles of yoga that is called Aparigraha, or non-hoarding. I remember reading something that said that hoarding means you don't trust God to provide for you. It also talked about how selfish it is to hoard, because the things could be used and loved by someone else instead of sitting in our closet untouched. In time, I have come to understand how true this all is. I selfishly keep this shirt in my closet that I don't wear much, that I don't know how to love, when someone else could be wearing it, LOVING it right now - if I would only let it go. But I keep it because I mistakenly believe the lie that it's up to me to make sure that I have enough - to prepare for the unforeseen circumstances of the future. God may not bring something else around when I need it.
This, of course, is crap. If I don't know how to love it NOW, someone else does. I should let them love it. Let it go. If I don't know how to love it now, it is just weighing me down.
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